The anxious mind can be very cunning and deceitful. It brought to mind the words of Jeremiah the prophet in Jeremiah 17:9.
During the countless amounts of times in the past when I had become depressed and anxious, I had prayed a prayer in panic to the Lord for Him to set me free. Nothing would seem to happen, so I felt rejected, defeated – powerless to stop the torrent of negative thoughts and emotions that seemed to overwhelm me. My mind had become so conditioned by this, that it became utterly convinced that there was no escape and that peace and joy was something that I could never attain.
I had assumed that I had to try to battle my negative thoughts and emotions myself. A lot of this stemmed from the world’s belief that Jesus doesn’t really do miracles anymore and that you control the way that you think – not God. This wrong belief was also perpetuated within the church.
Even charismatic Christianity seemed to endorse self-effort to please God. It was assumed that God would provide the spiritual fireworks in the form of signs and wonders, if you begged Him enough, but when it came down to your thoughts, emotions and behaviour – it as all over to you. After all, they would argue, we have all been made righteous. So if you have been made righteous – then you should not be sinning – so just don’t sin! Arrrggghhh!
My highly imaginative mind assumed that the only way that I could have this peace and joy I so desperately wanted, was to obtain it through some kind of alternative means, through some kind of “framework”. I had become so accustomed to experiencing a hint of life and peace through some means or another, that I become conditioned to believe that such things were actually the source of the joy itself.
After years of erratic and undulating emotions, the mind just becomes convinced that it can only be happy and satisfied if it has that job, that girlfriend, that house, that car, etc. I would desire to be with certain people whose company I had enjoyed in the past – with the idea that they would somehow give me life and peace. I would seek also to do those activities that I thought would automatically bring me joy. I learned that this is the way that the mind becomes “programmed”. I could see the credibility behind the Psychological models of conditioning created by the likes of B.F. Skinner and Ivan Pavlov.
It is rather astonishing how this conditioning regarding what makes us happy, causes a person to become highly covetous. By the time such a person becomes a Christian, he will have a big list of wants that he brings before the Lord in prayer. Prosperity teaching and Word of Faith teaching will encourage believers to “dream big dreams” and the like.
I will never forget the words of Tommy Barnett when he came to my church: Tommy preached a motivating and encouraging message and he said, “Your dreams aren’t big enough”. I know he meant well – but it does not help those who are looking to the wrong things for satisfaction.
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