I've encountered a lot of believers who are into the grace message, who are seeking a grace-based church. I've read and posted to discussion boards about this hot topic of several occasions. The notion seemed to be that they needed to be part of a grace fellowship and that they were missing so many things about the church. I know some of the people who read this blog are also in that position and have perhaps been out of the I.C. (Institutional Church) for a year or more.
I don't know about you, but spending time with grace believers on Facebook and other social networking sites, as well as soaking in pure grace teaching, has really changed me over the course of this year. I had so many hopes and expectations about my current church, which I considered to be the church of my dreams. I thought that when I would find a Superchurch like the one I attend now - my whole life would be miraculously transformed - but it hasn't.
My whole outlook on the I.C. has changed for me now that I know that church is not an obligation. I still go to church but I don't look to the church as being the centre around which my whole Christian experience revolves. I can be a Christian with, or without, church. I suppose you could say I have died to the I.C. I think I'm glad it happened this way because if I had not encountered what I considered to be the "church of my dreams" I would still be seeking that experience and blaming my frustration on the lack of it.
Going to Church is like…Falling in Love with a Beautiful Woman
I suppose people’s dependency on the I.C. could be likened to falling in love with a beautiful woman: you convince yourself that if you just had a relationship with the woman of your dreams, everything would be just wonderful. You meet her and find that she is everything that you expected her to be, at first. But then over time, you realise that she has her faults and that she cannot be made responsible for your sense of security and self-esteem; you cannot always look to her to make decisions for you and to agree with everything you say and believe in.
This experience brings you to the realisation that you have to look within yourself for the strength, happiness and wisdom you seek. It's not that the woman is bad or wrong - it's just that she is being the person she was created to be - nothing more and nothing less. But she could be considered to be a bad person if a person comes along and expects her to be something that she was not intended to be. Now, if you were to not meet the woman of your dreams in this way, you could still be holding onto that thought that says, "I'll be happy when..."
I think it is a very common expectation that many people, believers and unbelievers alike, have in this world: they think they’ll be happy when they meet the perfect woman. It all goes so very well at first, but after time, that person does not pay you the attention that she used to, she is no longer inclined to agree with you all of the time and she sticks up for herself and her own opinions. At that moment, that woman suddenly becomes the object of anger, scorn and ridicule just because a needy and insecure person tried to make that person an extension of himself and a means of attaining a sense of security and approval.
Obviously, what is needed in this situation is for the man to realise his own sense of righteousness without needing the approval and agreement of another person all of the time. This is where the Gospel message comes into play – providing a much needed sense of righteousness, without having the need to control others; allowing others to have their own beliefs, desires, motives, attitudes and opinions without feeling offended, unloved and powerless.
Today, there are far too many Christians who see the I.C. as being like a woman (or a man if you are yourself a woman) who is like their partner: someone who is there to constantly support them, validate them, agree with them and make decisions for them. I will put my hand up at this stage and admit that I’ve been a very insecure person for most of my life; I saw the church as the reflection or portal through which I experience Jesus, serve Him and determine His love for me – it is little wonder I have felt so frustrated and confused for so long.
The Need for Intimacy with Jesus Christ
What people need is a relationship with Christ, the head of the church, more than the relationship they are trying to have with the body. Don’t get me wrong: I believe that fellowship is important, but there is something seriously wrong when the I.C. becomes a substitute for a proper, intimate and fulfilling relationship with Jesus Christ. The quality of a believer’s relationship with other people, saved or unsaved, is determined, I believe, from their relationship with Jesus Christ.
Someone once said, “Our relationship with the horizontal is determined by our relationship with the vertical.” So if our relationship with Christ is so important – why does the I.C. so often stress the importance of fellowship with other church members more than that with Christ?
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