The Need to Prove That I am Right

I don't need to prove that I am right in order for people to believe, trust and accept me. My witness as a Christian is not determined by how many Bible verses I can memorise and recite - but by how much I love other people. My love for others is not determined by good deeds, which can be done from wrong motive in order to prove that you are a "nice" person. No, love is determined by your attitude towards others.

I've noticed in my own life that I tend to be drawn towards those people who don't have a point to prove; those people who keep themselves to themselves. Whilst I find that I am repulsed by people who are highly opinionated and want to force their beliefs on others.

There are some people who, in the past, could have told me that the moon was made of cream cheese and I would have believed them! There seems to be something so wonderfully appealing about humble people.

I think we have developed a crooked way of labelling warm-hearted people in the church. We tend to think that in order to qualify as a warm-hearted, loving person in the church then you need to perform acts of charity that are associated with the church and go around acting “nice”. I find such people are often saccharine-sweet and while their efforts might be appreciated in the institutional church – they are seen as the falsehood that they really are for those people in the world who know the difference.

I remember seeing one such “nice”, sweet old lady in the church: she was smiling one moment and saying the usual “Christian” things, such as, “I just sooooo love Jesus!” Then the next moment she is bawling and crying, running to the front of the church at an altar call for those struggling with finances. The conclusion I come to through this anecdote is that charity and kindness in the church is often a front for desperate, insecure people to win the favour of God and other people – it can become an expression of insecurity and desperation.

I don’t think Jesus ever expected people to associate love with a false, saccharin-sweet kind of pleasantness as a means of “proving” their new-nature in Christ. I think Jesus expected love to be the acceptance of others as they are and a willingness to help when the right moment afforded itself. Love should be the precious option of being who you are without feeling the need, from guilt, fear or pride to change a thing. That kind of love expresses itself to other people as well as we no longer seek to impress our ideas and opinions on them; otherwise, we end-up arguing with others and bearing grudges against them when they don’t conform to our expectations. Instead, Christians have opted to hold onto their grudges and the need to be right whilst pre-engineering so-called acts of kindness in order to prove their “love” for others. These acts of so-called kindness are just seen by unbelievers as being rather corny – it just puts people off.

There is a time and place for charity – but the church cannot become a place for insecure and proud people to “qualify” for their love-badge. The institutional church should be a meeting place for likeminded people who want to share their faith and the good news of Jesus; a community of believers who support and encourage one another and share ideas.

I often find that a lot of our beliefs that we try to persuade others to agree with - are often nothing more than personal preferences, such as music, fashion, politics and so forth. The Gospel is not a personal preference, I acknowledge that, but there are some people who are simply not ready to receive the Gospel yet. If we try to force the Gospel on other people, outside of love, we resort to fear and intimidation in order to "win their soul". Jonathan Edwards’ famous sermon “Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God” certainly had the desired effect of scaring people into saying the “Sinners Prayer” – but did it really win the hearts and minds of people to knowing God’s love for them?

I find that the more we seek to prove ourselves through logical reasoning - the more argumentative, spiteful and obnoxious we become. You don’t even need to plan it or practice it for it to happen – it is simply the natural conclusion when a person seeks to prove that they are right according to their logical reasoning, achievements, abilities, status or personal possessions. Let love do the witnessing - not your beliefs, arguments and opinions.