The “Elijah Moment”

I cannot help but feel that this year has seen a significant shift and change in my spiritual state and perspectives. It is difficult to lock it down to just one or two things that have happened to me or I have done. I do believe that listening to The God Journey and The Free Believers Network podcasts has had something to do with it. But it would be wrong of me to dismiss all of the other things that have happened around me over the years which have contributed significantly towards shaping me into the person that I am today, with the beliefs that I now have.

Over the course of the weekend I just felt struck with just how utterly awesome it is to simply have a sense of profound peace; and to just know in your heart beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are okay as you are and that the decisions you make are right for you at that time.

I believe that it is sheer torture to be in that awful place whereby you are at a “junction” in your life, torn between two or more decisions, and not really sure which path to take. I don’t think there is anything worse than having that sense of sheer disorientation in your mind, as you struggle mentally to determine the next course of action. In fact, I would say that it is a curse if we are to take Deuteronomy 28:28 into consideration.

It is this anxious state which can cause Christians to search for the latest book, by a popular evangelist, promoting the latest fads and formulas. Such “teaching” is often purported to be the means of changing your life for the better, promising miracles, prosperity and special favour with God and other people. Over the course of time, it is really quite possible to amass a library stacked with such books. But when you look back over your life, you realise with horror that none of those books have really done anything to change your life or who you are at that moment.

The Australian evangelist Christine Caine delivered a powerful message at Hillsong London on Sunday 15th November 2009 - 6.00pm, entitled Don't Stay at the Gate. In this message she related the story of Mary when she was heavily pregnant with the yet unborn Jesus. Being the mother of the Lord Jesus Christ, the Messiah, you would have thought that she would have been entitled to V.I.P. treatment. But no, the Bible tells us that when she was heavily pregnant, she had to endure a long ride on the back of a donkey in order to travel to a place in which a census was performed. This very special lady did not check-in to a five star hotel. Oh no, the Bible clearly tells us that Mary was forced to stay in a stable, a place where horses are kept (just to remind you). Whilst staying at the stable, Mary the mother of Jesus finally gave birth to the greatest Man that ever walked the earth.

I cannot help but feel that this story in the Bible truly hammers home the significance of the way in which life does not always go the way we want and that it does not always deliver the comforts and conveniences that we would like. Christianity has somehow veered towards being a method by which people can assume perfect control over their lives; demanding comfort and a smooth transition through life. A lot of prayer requests have been focused towards making life simpler. I shake my head in disbelief when I hear Christians praying for “travelling mercies”; they will pray that their transport will arrive on time and that their baggage will not go astray and so forth. Then there is the whole Word of Faith movement, in which I myself was drawn into for a number of years. I find that many people, who are lured into Word of Faith, are anxiety sufferers, just like me, who believe that their only means of happiness in this life is to use formulas that will enable them to control precisely what happens in their life.

I believe that God wants us to come to a place in which we have hardly any control over our lives and we know it. I have come to a place of understanding that the more I try to control my life, the more anxious, frustrated and disappointed I become. If I use my ability to control the circumstances of my life as a “measuring rod” of God’s love for me, I am going to end-up feeling like the biggest wash-out in history – as if I am never good enough and that I am far from the heart of God.

I believe that it is a sign on maturity when a Christian can come to that place in which he is not seeking to control his life; he is not seeking to gain a “word of knowledge” about what is going to happen to him at a future time. The only time that really exists is here-and-now – no other time exists – the past has been-and-gone and the future has not yet arrived. There is nothing we can do about the past – it is over and done with. The best way we can ensure that our future is the best it can be – is by making the most of our time now.

We read in 1 Kings 19 about the story of the prophet Elijah when he fled the wicked queen Jezebel who threatened his life. This is the same man who prayed and fire from Heaven burned-up the altar, sacrifice and the prophets of Baal. But for some reason Elijah ran for his life when he heard that Jezebel had signed his death warrant for killing her prophets.

Why Elijah succumb to this fear, no-one really knows. But what I do know is that the Bible tells us what happened next in 1 Kings 19:9-13. We are told that incredible things happened around Elijah as he stood upon the mountain before the Lord as He passed by: a great wind tore rocks from the mountainside, there was an earthquake and there was fire. But we are told that the Lord was not in these things. I have no doubt in my mind that the Lord orchestrated these supernatural events – but there was no purpose in them for Elijah.

Recently, I listened to one of the latest podcasts from The Free Believers Network, entitled The Lust of Sensationalism. This podcast episodes highlights the way in which the institutional church hypes things up to a point in which they become addictive to those who are hungry for the presence of God; and yet, despite all of the sensationalism, the weeping, the hand-clapping and hysterics – there is nothing in it that really changes people’s lives for the better; nothing that gives people a clearer sense of direction in life; nothing that brings people a lasting sense of God’s presence and love for them. This podcast makes me think of Elijah as he stood on that mountain-top – he saw incredible things that must have been from God, and yet, he did not get carried away with it all. Elijah did not go running after the fire or seeking God’s direction with regards to the fierce wind; Elijah did not choose to see the earthquake as being judgement from God.

During the time of Elijah there would have been none of the institutional church approaches that we see today: no worship team to strum an acoustic guitar or play soothing “pads” on a synthesiser, no lighting crew to dim the lights at the key moments – no mood-changing methods that we see today. Elijah would not have used evangelism programmes or distributed his books to needy followers of God. Elijah would have simply obeyed God and lived his life freely in the moment doing what he knew to do. I don’t think Elijah knew when God was going to show up with awesome miracles, and as such, did not make great efforts to make things happen in a predictable way.

By his own admission, Darin Hufford of The Free Believers Network could preach in such a way as to hold the crowd captive, having people laughing or crying. Darin knows of the tactics used by preachers to motivate them and manipulate them through emotionalism and sensationalism. It is for this reason that Darin now prefers “fireside chats” or “coffee house conversations” to the institutional churches style of preaching.

Over the course of the weekend I felt struck with something that must have been akin to what Elijah must have experienced when he stood upon that mountaintop: I did not experience the supernatural, such as wind, fire or an earthquake. But I did experience a sense of how wonderful it is to simply know that you are where you are meant to be right now; that there is not some sort of formula or principle that you have to apply from a book.

It is so easy to gravitate towards a sense of wanting to change and control things. Money can give us that sense of control that we desire – which is why it is so desirable. Dani Johnson preached a message at the 1pm service at Hillsong London on Sunday 18th April 2010 - 6.00pm, entitled Ministry in the Marketplace. When I heard Dani preach, I felt rather awe-inspired by her testimony: homeless at the age of 21 – a millionaire by the age of 23. Dani kept on asking rhetorical questions throughout her message, such as, “Is there anyone here who is tired of being a slave to money?” In response to this the crowd cheered and raised their hands – myself included.

It is easy to look at money and miracles as being a pathway to convenience. But just like Mary having to make that long journey on the back of a donkey – perhaps many of us are not in a position whereby we can make demands for comfort, power, prominence and convenience. Perhaps we have to do things that seem to be a disruption to our routine; travelling in ways that appear to be a waste of time and effort.

But when I had my “Elijah moment” I suddenly felt a sense of just how amazing it is to know that there are no principles and formulas to adhere to; there are no mistakes that you have made in your life up to now that are too bad or wrong to keep you away from God’s awesome presence and a fulfilling life in the future. When the Bible says that Elijah heard that still small voice of God – we too can hear that voice, although it may or may not be audible, but we can certainly know it. John 10:27 says, “My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me.”

The Psalmist in Psalms 84:10 when he made the profound statement: better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere. I don’t want to live my life in that place of confusion whereby I’m wondering if I should go here or there, or do this or do that. If my constant safe-guarding, pampering and praying is keeping me in that place – I want out of it! I believe that the greatest blessing in life is to experience the presence of God for yourself, instead of studying about it or someone else telling you about it.

It is not just a luxury, but a necessity, I believe, to experience direction in your life that is clear as daylight. I don’t just want things to be obvious, but to be ultra-obvious: I mean to the point whereby it is glow-in-the-dark obvious – as obvious as a brass-band marching through your house. If I need to uproot myself and move to another country – fine; if I need to hop on the back of a donkey, travel a long distance and camp out in a stable – fine! Just give me the presence of God and I’ll be more than okay. But please, don’t let me languish in that sense of being far away from Him, trying to please God in my own effort, never quite certain what prayer, fad or formula is quite going to cut it with God.

I think we miss it and get confused when we try to forecast things ahead of time; I don’t need to know what I’m going to do in five years time; I don’t even need to know how an existing project is going to turn out for me; just let me know the next step and I’ll be okay with that. In his classic book, How to Obtain Fullness of Power, R.A. Torrey talks about being led by the Holy Spirit, we might only be given the next step, but that is enough. Some get into darkness because they don’t know what will happen next week or next month – but if we know the next step, we know all that we need to know in that moment.

I believe that it is truly a sign of maturity when our prayers and goals change from trying to manifest things, be they statuses, possessions or achievements – and we simplify everything down to this: simply knowing and experiencing the love of God for ourselves; knowing that all is well in our lives; the past is gone and no longer holds us in its sway; the future is unknown and will remain veiled to our sight for the time being. We are right with God just as we are – no fad, formula or principle can ever change or enhance that state in any way. I freely and gladly lay down my anxiety-ridden goals, aspirations and desire for control in favour of knowing God and feeling loved by Him, knowing that He is in control and that He demands nothing from me other than being fully surrendered to Him.