The Gospel and Inner Transformation (Part 1)

I've struggled with depression and anxiety, to one degree or another, for most of my life. It was this struggle which motivated me to become a Christian. As soon as I got hold of Word of Faith teaching - I thought I'd hit the jackpot! Before I became a "serious" Christian, I had read The Power of Your Subconscious Mind by Dr. Joseph Murphy - a classic book on the effect of your thoughts on your subconscious mind and how you can use affirmation to re-program your mind. Like many other Christians, Word of Faith became a Christian version of positive thinking and affirmations for me.

Just like me, many people become Christians because they have had emotional issues, have struggled with everyday life and needed something to change their life for the better. It's shocking what some Christians will do in order to try and get God to bless them. It’s unfortunate that all of those religious antics can become a massive distraction for some Christians, when all they probably need is professional, psychological help. I think maybe some regular deep relaxation would probably be more beneficial to them than what they do.

According to Psychology, internal change starts with the old subconscious, you move it to the old conscious, then the new conscious, then the new subconscious.

We have behaviours, thoughts, feelings in which we are not aware of as being destructive, let alone where they are sourced. This is the old subconscious. You discover/uncover these things. This is the old conscious. You deconstruct them and learn new truths/patterns. This is the new conscious. After repetition these things become the norm in you. This is the new subconscious.

Any means of establishing this change in the new subconscious could be called a modality. A modality is defined as a means of attaining an end; a method. As far as modalities to effect change of deep-seated beliefs are concerned - Christianity is certainly not one of the best. Christianity is not really designed for that purpose, but for salvation and relationship with God.

Unfortunately, you cannot develop a profound, close relationship with God when you are wracked with fear. In fact, religion exacerbates the situation because you start to believe that God is punishing you for your sin, or that you need to read your Bible more, give more in the offering, and so on. It’s as if as soon as a neurotic believes in the existence of God, it opens up a whole new world to them and a whole new way of thinking, in a way that is potentially very negative and damaging. Previously, a person might have wondered about the effects that his excessive drinking has on his health, but now, he also has to worry about whether God will punish him for it and so on.

I was baptised in the Holy Spirit in 1998 and it changed my life for the better, for all of two months. But during that time I felt like God was telling me, "You see, my love is all you need. See how all your wants melt away when you have my peace in you?" I suppose I have been trying to re-establish that amazing experience and peace of mind in my life ever since - without much success.

Regrettably, I have tried to establish happiness in all the typical ways that humans use: wealth, success and with Christianity, the pursuit of miracles. Wealth and success in themselves are not wrong, if that was the case, King Solomon would be the most evil person who ever existed. No, it is the desire for these things that corrupts. If I was to simply accept myself as I am, with all my faults, be content with what I have and quit worrying, I think that I’d find the happiness, freedom and even success and prosperity that I’ve been seeking all along.

Photo Möbius transformation courtesy of fdecomite.