When I look back on my life I can see that the last three years of my life have seen some significant positive changes. Well, I just pondered the thought yesterday that perhaps something really wonderful, amazing in fact, could happen in my life. I'm not saying that something amazing will happen - just that it could.
For instance, I've been writing quite prolifically about my Christian journey since around 2005. I do believe that I have a gift for writing and that my whole life has been conducive towards knowing God. That "knowing God" has necessitated a lot of hardship and anxiety; a lot of failure and long periods of sadness and loneliness; a lot of frustration as I navigate the treacherous waters of institutionalised Christianity.
I really envy those people who seem to be honed into highly functional adults by the time they leave school - becoming happy and highly successful individuals. In stark contrast, I believe that my life has been pre-engineered to promote stress, as I battle with feelings of failure, sadness and despair. But all of that pain is for a good reason - it has to be! I believe that its time that people on the grace path began to share more with others and help them on this journey - this could be through podcasts, blogs or books. I honestly believe that I could write a book about Christianity and perhaps that is my calling.
In the I.C. (Institutional Church) there was a great deal of emphasis on over-the-top stories of amazing achievements and people who overcame incredible hardship. There was also the notion that the more you suffer - the more you will be blessed. There is a popular Christian adage that states, "Those who sow in tears shall reap in joy", or something like that. But the way of thinking has led to a lot of Christians becoming depressed, as they realise that all the incredible things they were expecting - have not, and probably will not, materialise.
One of my main areas of focus in recent years has been acceptance of reality. I've had to come to terms that I might be just a normal person and that something that could be classed as "amazing" might never happen in my life. I realise that there has been too much emphasis on the fantastic, the miraculous, performance and achievement. I have awoken to the belief that there can be something truly wonderful to be found in the kind of life that we were led to believe was "average". Divine peace and joy makes normal life something really special, I believe.
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