Guidelines on Making Comments

Not many people seem to be making comments on my blog posts. I would prefer that people take the time to make relevant comments because I would prefer some two-way interaction rather than just me writing here.

But I also appreciate that some regular commenters have reported issues with posting comments. So I did a little test to check it out. I have changed the “Who Can Comment” setting so that people can comment anonymously. I appreciate that when commenting on blogs, you don’t always want to bother entering in your Yahoo or Google ID. In fact, not everyone has a Yahoo or Google ID, or whatever other ID options Blogger permits. So, you can now post anonymously if you wish to do so. However, you will have to enter a Word Verification. The Word Verification helps to keep out all of the spam postings for Viagra, weight loss pills and other such junk.

I noticed when I was testing comment posting that the Word Verification window did not seem to display correctly. There are some known issues regarding this on the internet, and a workaround, such as this.

I have decided to leave the Comment Placement setting as “Embedded below post”. If you comment anonymously, you can reveal the complete Word Verification window, by double-clicking on the black text “Word Verification”. This will then reveal the text box to enter in the word for verification and the Post Comment button. I appreciate that this is a glitch – but this workaround do seem to work okay on both Google Chrome and Internet Explorer.

I also noticed that some of the most recent comments were in Chinese. I just assumed that this was because people were posting comments in that language. I have checked the language settings of my blog and they are “English (United Kingdom)”. So if you have been experiencing issues with your comments unexpectedly appearing in a language other than English, please let me know.

I really appreciate comments so please feel free to comment on my posts. Whether you agree or disagree, I'd love to hear from you. Also, feel free to link back to your own blog in your comments.

The Difference Between Challenge and Struggle

The concepts of challenge and struggle seem to go hand-in-hand, in fact, to a great extent; they are treated as one and the same. But in actual fact, there is a world of difference between the two. Identifying this difference, I believe, is key to understanding why the institutional church system does not work and is also the key to understanding something about yourself.

Take on a Challenge!

I previously discussed the challenge type of preaching in Challenges Part 1 and Challenges Part 2. In these posts I discussed the way in which the church often attempts to overcome stagnation by motivating its members to “take on a challenge”. The thinking behind this is that if believers were to “take on a challenge”, their lives, and the church, would be better for it.

This type of thinking is derived from positive members of the church who find that when they take on a challenge, either intentionally through confidence, or unintentionally by life and other people – they feel better for it and something good comes from it. This is then turned into a formula by which it is believed that if a person “takes on a challenge” – they will become better people as a result.

Glorifying Suffering

I suppose this challenge mentality has been the key driver behind glorifying suffering: it is assumed that suffering is God’s way of testing us in order to make us better people, to teach us something and to make our lives better. I think this attitude does put a positive spin on things, but I question how valid it is. I don’t doubt that something good can com from suffering, and even that people can become better in some way through it, but I question the entire attitude towards suffering; more than anything, I challenge the entire “take on a challenge” mentality that is so prevalent in the church.

Taking Action

It would appear that the church is besotted with taking action. This is understandable as for centuries it seems that the church seemed to have very little relevance to society. People nowadays see Christianity as a ritual that has very little practicality when it comes to everyday life. There are some Christians who are desperate to change that mindset; so they attempt to do this by getting Christians to do things. But this path often leads to the typical, charitable efforts that we are so used to seeing amongst Christians – and nothing more.

The challenge type of pulpit message is designed to get Christians doing things, taking on more responsibility, getting outside of their comfort zone – all in an effort to make positive, lasting changes to the church, other people and themselves.

Challenges could be described as adverse circumstances; they are the difficulties that lie between where we are now and where we would like to be; they are the mountains that stand in our path, which Jesus Himself said we are to move by our faith.

But I cannot help but believe that problems occur when we see taking action as the cure-all formula for apathy and stagnation.

Action versus Thought

I believe that the key to understanding the difference between challenge and struggle is to be found in the difference between action and thought. There are often times when the difficulties in our path are caused by other people and those things, which are out of our control. That is were we are blameless when it comes to creating those difficulties.

I believe that for many Christians, the obstacles standing in their way are actually self-created. These obstacles are not challenges, as such; they are the consequences of a person’s own thought life. Struggle is a state of being caused by a person’s beliefs, attitudes and patterns of thinking. Such people cannot be helped by encouraging them to “take on a challenge”. In fact, taking on more responsibility for people in a state of struggle can cause more trouble for other people as well as themselves. Negative minded people do not take on challenges because of the awful stress that results when they are exposed to circumstances that oppose what they want or expect. Anxious people like things to be just the way they want them to be; the slightest thing that happens that is contrary to what they desire, can create a whole world of hurt for them.

This way of thinking gets us away from the focus on action and onto thought. Every action we take originates in a thought, those thoughts lead to desires which prompt the action. It is assumed that many Christians don’t do the things they should and shun responsibility because they are lazy and they need to be motivated from the pulpit. I find this is not the case and that they shun responsibility and challenges out of fear.

Anxiety and Confusion

When a person is struggling with anxiety, their sense of judgement goes haywire! It is very difficult to make decisions and to know what is right for you, when your mind is full of anxious thoughts. It is for this reason that a lot of Christians always seem to be confused and not know what is right for them. There is a lack of confidence present when confusion is rife: how can a person be confident in making life choices when they are confused? It is for this reason that Christians are often seeking the advice of other people, when they should really know what is right for them on the inside, in their heart.

Unfortunately, this confusion and indecisiveness potentially leads to abuse, as they are told by strong-willed people, inside and outside the church, what they should or should not do. If a person was not so anxious, they would have all the sense of wise discernment and confidence that they needed in order to do what they need to do. In fact, I find that the “three graces” of wisdom, confidence and favour that we all need to get ahead in life, come as a result of being positive and clear-minded. Anxiety is the root cause of most, if not all, of the dysfunction that we experience in life.

Merely “taking on a challenge” is not sufficient to bring a person out of this dysfunction. Such people require whatever knowledge and assurance they need in order to bring much needed peace of mind, assurance and a sense of security. The Gospel, the true Gospel of Christ, is so designed to bring this sense of security. However, the Gospel has been twisted and taken out of context to the point in which is has been wielded against people like a weapon – a weapon of fear and manipulation.

I am convinced that the Gospel, the Good News, is meant to bring assurance to people, to the point by which they cease from their own efforts to please God and to control their lives.

The Effects of Struggle

When a person is in a condition of struggle due to anxiety, they experience struggle in life. It is difficult to comprehend the extent to which anxiety affects a person. I believe that such effects are widespread, throughout every single area of a person’s life. Anxiety affects relationships, health, career – as well as the obvious affects on mental and emotional wellbeing. The result is often a fear of commitment, a sense of powerlessness; this leads to apathy and procrastination. People who are in a state of struggle will often argue with other people, and end-up getting nowhere. People who struggle will start a project and abandon it half way through.

It can be really confusing when you are in a state of struggle, because everything seems to be against you. This makes you wonder whether you are being tested by God, and as the church recommends, you should just persevere. The church often tries to encourage people going through a hard time, by using platitudes such as, “If you’re going through a hard time, it’s because the devil is attacking you because he knows that God has something wonderful planned for you.”

The whole subject of suffering is a complex one and there has been a lot of teaching, and opinion, on the subject. We can experience difficulties in life for seemingly no reason of our own making – perhaps it is just what we are meant to do. Then again, a lot of the challenges that we do face could very well be of our own making. Grace or no grace, I still believe in the law of sowing and reaping: if you are rude towards people, don’t be surprised if they are rude to you in return!

¹ "Don't pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults - unless, of course, you want the same treatment.

² That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging.

Matthew 7:1-2 MSG

In my experience, like attracts like: negative minded people attract negative people and negative circumstances. Conversely, positive minded people attract positive people and positive circumstances. I have found it at times rather uncanny at the way in which I seem to have experienced so many things go wrong in my life – it all comes down to a person’s thinking.

One way of looking at it is that God’s way is peace; so as soon as you step outside of that peace, you are moving away from God’s best for your life. It does not really matter what you are facing in life, you can and should face it in peace: that’s what patience is all about.

I think what often gets in the way of peace is when we hold onto a concept in favour of letting it go and experiencing peace. When Christianity becomes more about principles to a person, than love peace, a person can become lost in pain and struggle as they go on a moral crusade. Take for instance the attitude many Christians have towards sex outside of marriage: Christians would rather intimidate and ostracise someone who fornicates, than to accept them and maintain peace.

Jesus Himself rebuked His disciples for losing their cool and getting anxious – even when it seriously looked as if they were about to drown in a boat caught in the midst of a storm. Yes, it does actually appear from scripture that God expects people to maintain a state of peace – even in life threatening situations.

Unsurprisingly, I believe Apostle Paul is the champion we are to look to in regards to this state of mind. No matter what Paul experienced, he still had peace of mind and trust in God. Paul experienced a shipwreck, he was beaten and he was thrown in prison – that is enough to annihilate any sense of trust towards God in the lives of many people.

If Paul would have associated the challenges he was going through to God’s acceptance of him – I think Paul would have been a very insecure person. But Paul was emphatic of the Father’s love for him. This faith did not prevent bad things from happening in the life of Paul. But I believe that Paul was strong in faith: he knew the Father’s love for Him and he was a secure, positive minded person who experienced peace of mind at most times.

Consider this for a moment: how on earth have we taken the challenges of Paul in the New Testament and made the same New Testament into a system of getting luxuries and special privileges from God? I know it is difficult; I’ve struggled with these things myself.

Insecure people lose their peace at the slightest, most trivial things: when it rains when they had a picnic planned or they miss the train on the way to work in the morning. Some people get angry and feel their world is falling apart if their football team loses on Saturday!

Simply telling a person in state of struggle that they should “take on a challenge”, is insufficient to bring a about a change in their life. No amount of shaming such as person is going to help.

I think one of the biggest issues with regards to this situation, is that the church attempts to cater for different people at different levels of spiritual maturity, confidence and mental stability. We see a one-size-fits-all approach in church in many things. This approach just makes things confusing as the pastor seeks to encourage people into taking decisive action and furthering the kingdom (and his own church).

The Solution

I don’t believe it is possible to overcome a condition of struggle by simply “taking on a challenge”. I’ve tried to make myself do interesting and exciting things in order to try to please other people, become happier and to look as if I’m serving God – but it really does not work if you are in a state of apathy and struggle.

As with anything, the best way to deal with a problem is to identify and tackle the root cause. The root cause of struggle, I believe, is anxiety. The root cause of anxiety is not trusting in God and trying to control your own life.

The Gospel message is described as The Gospel of Peace. The Gospel is meant to bring a person peace, to a point whereby they cease to worry about things and control their own lives according to their own plans. So we can appreciate the devastating effects of mixing Old Covenant law with New Testament grace: the result is an intoxicating mixture of declaring that you are right with God, but at the same time, making stringent efforts to keep rules and principles. The result of this is inevitably a sense of insecurity as you come to realise that your efforts to be right with God by your own works – is simply never, ever good enough.

As always, meditating on the message of grace is a sure-fire antidote to spiritual burn-out and the anxiety of trying to control your own life. The promises of the New Testament point towards a life in which God is in control, making the plans and guiding you along all the way. We are to sit back and relax as God motivates and inspires us to live our lives according to His perfect plan – His perfect, not ours.

I raised the issue of bearing in mind the detrimental effects of having wrong beliefs and attitudes, as well as a lack of discipline, in my recent blog post entitled The Fear Factor. I hope by now that you have gathered a gist for my utter resentment of Christians being manipulated by fear tactics and rule keeping in the church. However, I still ponder the effects of having wrong beliefs and attitudes. How we are to process this concept and consider it throughout this journey into God’s grace – I’m still working on that.

Best Christian Blog of the Week

I am pleasantly surprised to learn that I have won the Best Christian Blog of the Week award for May 16 2010.  This is actually the second time I have won this award now.  I find this very encouraging that my writing is getting “out there” and is being appreciated.  It is my passion to express the message of grace that God places on my heart.  This award helps to confirm to me that I am expressing myself in a way that other people can relate to and understand.

The “Harvest” Mentality – Part 2

So what is the key to escaping this “harvest” mentality of unrealistic expectations and the desire for control, which seems to be so alluring?

Righteousness

I believe the first step is the revelation of righteousness: when you know that you are right with God just the way you are, it changes your whole life and your view of God. No longer are you trying to please God according to your works. Now, you are able to see the Father’s love for you and rest in the assurance that He absolutely loves you no matter what you do and how you behave.

God is Good

The next step is to come to the point whereby you are certain that God has a good life for you. If you do not trust God with your life, you will always be trying to control yourself, circumstances and other people. There is something freeing in knowing that God is in control, He loves you and knows what’s best for you. When you think you have to control every little detail of your life, you do not have faith and you do not trust in God.

God Will Bless Us Unconditionally

Allied with the point above about control, is the fact that God will manifest blessing and provision in our lives without our intervention: there is no need to claim and attract things through affirmations and prayer. If you will be honest with yourself, you will come to the realisation that most or all of the time when you have tried to claim things from God – your efforts have been driven by a fear that God demands something from you and that nothing good will ever happen unless you do something about it.

Interfering With God

This leads us to the question of why nothing good happens in a certain person’s life and what they can do about it. I would say that the irony of the situation is that the more people try and control their life, through worry, prayer, affirmations and such like – the more they are interfering with God. It is our own fear and the efforts we make to control our lives, which prevent God from moving freely in us. The more we try to prevent certain things from happening in our lives – the more we find that our efforts actually attract those things to us.

What Makes a Person Truly Happy?

We need to have a new perspective on what it is that really makes a person happy and popular with other people. It is not what we do or what we have that determines our mental and emotional state or the attitude of others towards us. No, our life experiences and the way that we see them and feel about them, are determined to a great extent on whom we are on the inside. But when a person is wrapped in fear, it seems as if “normal life” is simply not appealing enough. This causes a person to feel disappointed with everything that happens in their life. This causes people to gravitate upwards mentality so that they are always looking to get bigger and better things and to achieve great things. This approach is encouraged by many people in the world and seen as something positive. But if what you do is driven and motivated out of fear and lust, rather than from love, it will eventually consume you and confine you to a life of frustration and misery.

When a person falls in love with someone, everything around them seems to change. The sky seems to be that bit bluer, the grass that bit greener and the birds singing in the trees seems that bit lovelier. It is easy to assume that this new found happiness is caused by the other person – as if they have magic powers or something. But in actual fact, it is simply a change of heart on the inside of a person. The other person was simply the catalyst for what already exists within you. When you fall in love, it seems as if everything changes, but in actual fact, it is your heart that has changed. I think it is about time that we fell in love with life and got to that place in which we are no longer living from fear and the wretched disappointment it brings, and instead, learn to live from a heart of love and experience the true splendour of peace, joy and contentment.

Effortless Cooperation

In my experience, I find that the best way to cooperate with God is to do nothing. The less we try to help God by figuring out what we can do for Him and how we can avoid certain things and speed the good things along – the better we are able to experience life to the fullest. We have no guarantees that we are all going to be millionaires or that we are going to have a successful worldwide ministry or whatever else our fantasies may revolve around. But we can get more of God in our lives as we assure ourselves of His love for us in Christ and the belief that He will build His church and that He will add to our lives whatever it is that we need, when we need it.

³¹ "Therefore do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' ³² "For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. ³³ "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Matthew 6:31-33

The “Harvest” Mentality – Part 1

There seems to be a “harvest” mentality amongst many Christians, even grace Christians: this is based around various Bible verses that promise wealth, particularly Galatians 6:9.

⁷ Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. ⁸ For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life. ⁹ And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.

Galatians 6:7-9

During the Word of Faith stage I went through for several years, I got caught-up in a “harvest” mentality: I became convinced that I would reap a harvest of wealth, power and miracles – if I developed a certain level of faith and adhered to certain principles and formulas. I was told that faith came by the Word of God, which is based on Romans 10:17. So I assumed that the Bible was the Word of God and I had to understand it and study it in order to have faith. I was told that faith and conviction was the same thing, so I needed to know what was right in scripture, I had to rightly divide the Word, so that I could have faith. After all, how could I be sure of something that I did not even know what right or wrong or did not even understand?

So I thought that I had to have answers for everything and that I needed to persuade other people to see things from my perspective. However, this caused me to be overbearing and highly opinionated at times and to desire after control and influence. If I could have this type of “faith”, I assumed, and then I would be able to reap a “harvest”. Can you see how the wrong concept of faith as portrayed by the institutional church, enmeshes with the neurotic temperament, and thus, compounds it? No wonder the world tends to look upon Christians as being unpleasant and opinionated people.

The church, of course, was also quick to seize upon the concept of tithing as a means of reaping a harvest. This “harvest” mentality stirs-up the fantasies that people have as they feel encouraged to think about all the things that they will reap from God for their obedience and faith. It sort of makes it all worth it because they are also upholding a vision of God that is angry, demanding and judgemental.

When You Fail to Reap…

All the while, when you do not reap your “harvest” you are told to persevere and to have faith and not to lose heart (as Galatians 6:9 seems to encourage). It is little wonder that a large component of the preaching we hear in church is what I call pep-talks. It really boggles my mind how Christians will allow preachers to intimidate and patronise them – all because they believe that the person on stage behind the pulpit is closer to God than they are; that the pastor knows more than them and that they hold all the answers to an abundant life. I used to love listening to Joyce Meyer, but now; I wince when I hear the way in which she patronises people. I think she means well and she does teach some true and amazing things – but in amongst all the good stuff is an awful lot of intimidation.

I think you can reach a point when you suddenly realise that you are not going to be the next Billie Graham or Benny Hinn, you’re not going to have your own intercontinental jet plane, performing miracles before a huge audience of adoring fans. I think you come to a place in which you get the feeling that it would really be good for your mental and emotional health if you were to climb down from your cloud and embrace real life. I think this reality-check can be too much to bear for some Christians. We would rather hold onto the fantasy rather than to come to terms with the fact that the institutional church has fed us unrealistic expectations, or even lies, all of this time.

The Lust of Sensationalism

Darin Hufford of the Free Believers Network discusses the subject of over-sensationalism in the church in the podcast episode entitled podcast The Lust of Sensationalism. This is a wonderful, long awaited podcast that I feel picks-up from Darin's blog on Spiritual Porn Addiction. This podcast has helped me to come to terms with the sheer wackiness that we simply accept without question in Pentecostal circles. It is sad but true that sensationalism is like a drug to the frustrated, insecure and gullible Christian who is seeking more in life.

The Fear Factor

I just recently wrote some entries in The Divine Nature which I feel provide a summary of my Christian journey so far:

• Grace Origins…How It All Started
• Grace Elements…Righteousness and No-condemnation
• Grace Elements… Unionist Teaching
• Grace Elements… Free Believers / Anti-I.C.
• A New Found Freedom

This journey has led me into what has come to be known as “the grace message”. This is a focus on the true essence of the Gospel message, which means “the good news”, as express by the Apostle Paul in his letters to the church: the Epistles.

Rather than focusing on keeping a set of rules, the grace message focuses on God’s love for us and who we are in Christ. This sets us free from the burden of constantly having to analyse verses of scripture in order to extract principles and rituals to follow. It is a matter of learning not to eat the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, and instead, embracing all that God has done for us through Jesus Christ.

It seems that many Christians who come to the revelation of this grace message, first go through a period of time, often years, of pursuing religious obligations that stifle a person’s life and adversely affect their personality and mental and emotional health. Yet it would seem that this season of development in the Christian life is somewhat necessary in that it prepares you for the real truth of who Christ really is and what he represents. It seems that the best way to know what the love of God is – is by experiencing for yourself what it is not. It does make a person wonder if someone can truly value the message of God’s unconditional love for us – without having first gone through the stifling religious system provided by the institutional church. This subject was discussed by the Free Believers Network in the Podcast No Pain No Gain Part 1 Jan 26, 2010 and No Pain No Gain Part 2 Jan 29, 2010.

I recently listened to a Podcast by the Free Believers Network entitled Chemo-Fear-Apy 1^st May 2010, which discussed the way in which the institutional church has used fear tactics to control its followers, to create a reverence for God and to “win souls to Christ”. The hosts of this podcast related how many people in the church today were persuaded to become Christians through a message of “hell and damnation”. Some people have also been enticed into reciting the “Sinners Prayer” through the promise of power, wealth, miracles and healing. Ironically, all of these things just so happen to be the kind of things that entice people into following witchcraft!

In the Chemo-Fear-Apy podcast, one of the host’s spoke of a well-known preacher whom he said had an “anointing from hell” – he literally turned strong Christians into quivering wrecks. The host of the podcast did not mention this man’s name, but it is rumoured that it is John Bevere.

I have read a few books written by John Bevere and heard his teaching on CD. The focus of this man’s message appears to be obedience and respect for authority. Bevere’s teaching is studded with testimonies from a full-time ministry perspective of the dangers of disobedience to God and not respecting authority. I feel that I have no reason to doubt this man’s experiences and even the convictions of his heart. I believe that obedience and respect of authority is indeed important. But it is the way this man goes about trying to convey the message and how people are meant to process what he says – that is what concerns me. Just by giving people a horror story of what happened when he made a wrong decision, is no viable means of instilling obedience and correct attitudes in people.

It seems that fear does work to some extent when it comes to influencing a person’s behaviour. If you hold a gun to a person’s head, for instance, I think you can pretty well get them to do almost anything. But on a more down-to-earth level – you can subtly influence people to do things they would not normally do, by threatening to withdraw approval or support from a person or to not do a certain thing for them. Religion uses this technique of manipulation and behaviour modification through fear; take for instance the preaching of the story of Jonah getting swallowed-up by a whale for failing to act upon the dictates of God.

It seems that many Christians dutifully turn up to church every Sunday to get a fresh infusion of fear. Fear is an effective motivator: if you are wandering through a jungle or the desert and you see a snake or a ferocious wild animal – you are likely to run for your life. But fear is no substitute for love when it comes to genuine heart transformation that really lasts.

So when a Christian comes into the grace message, the message of God’s unconditional love for them, there is a tendency to utterly reject everything they have been told and taught before in the church regarding obedience through the threat of fear.

Does this mean that the message of the likes of John Bevere and Joyce Meyer are untrue and not applicable anymore? Personally, I find myself in agreement with the likes of John Bevere in that obedience and a bad attitude does make trouble for a person. But I am more inclined to move away from the focus on disobedience in the form of action and to focus more on the root causes of disobedience: wrong beliefs and attitudes. After all, most of what we do, if not all of what we do, is motivated from a belief and attitude. An attitude is our belief system turned inside out and exposed to the world.

Trying to control behaviour through focusing on behaviour is one of the most futile and frustrating pursuits a person could ever engage in. It is for this reason, I believe, that the concept of positive thinking was established: it was realised that a person’s thinking was ultimately responsible for a person’s desires, which in turn influenced their actions. But even positive thinking is flawed in that thoughts arise from the subconscious mind with little or no warning; when they do it is often difficult, if not impossible, to control them with a conscious effort of the will.

Many adherents of the Christian grace message assert that as we focus on the message of God’s love for us, then we will experience His love and will then be more able to love ourselves, know what is right for us, and obey God and to love other people as we love ourselves. I agree with this concept to a great extent, but I have also found that just by studying this grace message, my deeply rooted beliefs and attitudes have not been transformed.

Coming into the revelation of God’s love for us is so freeing, so wonderful, that we tend to reject anything fear-based which seems to portray God in the negative light of the Old Testament. This creates sensitivity to the preaching of people like John Bevere that provokes a negative response which causes a person to reject such teaching. But I cannot help but feel that there is also something of a naivety amongst grace believing Christians in that they assume that they can have wrong beliefs and attitudes and everything will go well in life for them. I’m not trying to water down the grace message at all, but there is truth to this matter?

People will cite the story of Abraham when he went to Egypt, lied to Pharaoh, and was made very wealthy as a consequence of that. Christians will say that we can be blessed when we sin – but is there any truth to that statement? I expressed my own beliefs about this matter through a series of blog entries on The Divine Nature:

• Sin and Patience in Relation to Abraham, Isaac and Ishmael
• A Sense of Security and Acceptance – Part 3
• A Sense of Security and Acceptance – Part 2
• A Sense of Security and Acceptance – Part 1
• What is Transgression?
• What is Sin? – Part 2
• What is Sin? – Part 1
• What is Unbelief?
• Will God Bless You When You Sin?

In Summary, I wrote that sin is not just wrong behaviour and action – it stems from wrong desires, thoughts, beliefs and attitudes – it is these things that we should focus on when it comes to changing our world and the world around us. I think one of the greatest revelations that I have gained during my years of spiritual study and practice has been the concept of developing a sense of security. This, I feel, is fundamental to the spiritual growth and maturity of an individual; as well as the mental and emotional health of a person. Without a sense of security – we are left to fend for ourselves through fear.

How are we supposed to process a message or teaching that seems to find its basis in fear, I wonder? I think perhaps it is simply something to bear in mind – not something that we should use to beat ourselves into submission with; neither should we reject it completely nor dismiss it as a lie. For me, I feel that this truth actually brings me a sense of comfort in that it reminds me of perhaps why life is not going so well for me, when I’m still behaving like an arrogant, overly opinionated jerk at times; or I am holding onto unrealistic expectations of myself and others.

Otherwise, I am left wondering why this grace message isn’t really working for me. I could be left wondering whether I need to buy more books on the grace message or listen to more podcasts that tell me about God’s love for me. But to be honest, I feel like I’m through with chasing after the latest spiritual fads and formulas.

The question then becomes: how do I change my beliefs and attitudes for the better? How do I develop a sense of security that releases me from the grip of fear?

Church Life at Hillsong London

It was during the year 2005 that I finally started attending Hillsong London church. Hillsong is a large, contemporary church that meets him a large theatre in central London. This church was like a breath of fresh air to me: the worship was professional and invigorating, the A.V. presentations were slick and professional, preaching was non-condemnatory, but above all people were friendly, positive minded, sociable and fun to hang out with. I had always thought that a lot of Christians were rather quirky and insecure, but this crowd seemed to really have it all together. Sure, these people had their issues just like anyone else, but there was a strength of character about them that I had only witness amongst those in full-time ministry or those who didn’t believe in Jesus.

It was in 2006 that Joseph Prince came to visit and taught on grace for a week. Joseph managed to pack a lot of teaching about grace into that week which sort of summed it all up in a way that people could understand. Ever since that time, the preaching and the overall ethos of Hillsong London changed for the better. Joseph Prince still comes to preach at Hillsong London occasionally. He has spoken at the Hillsong Europe conference for the past few years. He has also spoken on the Sunday service after the conference, for the past few years as well. You can read all about this in the wiki page on New Creation Church. I feel rather privalaged to have seen and heard Joseph Prince preach in person, as he does not seem to travel to other churches all that much.

At first, I still had a “carry-over” of Institution Church baggage in the form of duties that I thought I had to perform, misdirected aspirations and motives and such like – this rather hampered my first few years or so at this church. It was only when I began listening to The God Journey and The Free Believers Network: "Into the Wild" podcasts, that I began to find freedom from the rigours of religious performance enforced upon me from my previous years in the Institutional Church. I’ll discuss more about these podcasts later on.

I still go to this church today, but not every week. It is very much different now; London, as anyone will know, is something of a “hub” in Europe. Hillsong is a great place to meet fun and lively Christians from all over the world, especially Australia, New Zealand and South Africa. Plus, hanging out in London is such a cool experience – so much to see and do. So for me, I no longer attend church because I feel I have to – I go to church because I want to.

Having cooled-off from the insecurity-motivated Christian oddities and attitudes – I feel under no obligation to turn up each week, serve on team, go to conferences or even to pay my tithe. I go to this church now to hang out with Christian friends. I used to spend time with Christians at church because they were part of the group that I had been allocated to. But now, I have followed my heart in forming natural, spontaneous relationships – you could call them “organic relationships”.

There is an emphasis on organic relationships now when it comes to how we do church. I think Frank Viola’s book, Reimagining Church, has helped people understand the difference between contrived and organic relationships amongst believers when it comes to “church”. I love what Hillsong does in that it creates a wonderful environment where believers can meet and hang out together without the usual dull, boring religious trappings of the church. But when I listen to The God Journey and The Free Believers Network podcasts, it makes me wonder if indeed natural relationships can occur in the intuitional church. It is true that it is possible to form typical false friendships at Hillsong, just as in any other church. But I see the many people who really do form good, genuine friendships as well. It does not really come down to the environment or venue when it comes to Christian friendships – I think it really does come down to the individuals, their personalities and the expectations placed upon them by themselves and other people.

There really are no rules as to how you should live your Christian life anymore, some attend a church building, and others don’t. But I am so glad that I am free from the compulsions to go to church and perform from the pressure of fear. I am beginning to embrace my own vision of church now, rather than having a corporate vision foisted upon me by a ministerial team.

I tend to prefer the preaching of Gary Clark, the Senior Pastor. I value Gary’s experience as a pastor and his seasoned and realistic perspective on life. Gary has a dry sense of humour to boot, which I would compare his humour and demeanour in some ways to Jack Dee.  Hillsong attracts many visiting speakers from around the world. I suppose I should feel privileged about that, but I often find the visiting speakers to use what I call challenges (and here), platitudes and pep-talks.

I still find that Hillsong, although grace-oriented, still succumbs too many of the typical trappings of the Institutional Church: they encourage tithing and they often put the onus on the believer in a way that could be construed as religious performance. I think whenever you have a formal, organised church gathering, there are always going to be such things. Some would argue that we no longer need organised church; others would say we cannot be Christians without it. You just have to go with what is right for you at the time.