A Big Decision to Make

At this moment in time, I have a rather big decision to make in my personal life. It is only really now that this opportunity has presented itself to me. So naturally, I saw fit to investigate further and to make the necessary inquiries to see if I can progress with this idea. This decision has something to do with re-locating and buying a house.

Coincidently, this was the subject being discussed by The Free Believers Network in their podcast entitled Midweek – Deciding in the Wild, 30^th June 2010. In this podcast, the hosts discussed the way in which Christians make such a big fuss about making decisions; how Christians search for Bible verses to back-up every decisions they make. There really is a need to Christians to live from the heart and to just “take the plunge” when it comes to taking risks.

A few weeks ago I travelled to a certain place in the hope that this decision I have to make, would become clearer to me – but it did not: I did not feel any clearer about whether I should take this new step in my life, or not. I suppose I was expecting certain positive experiences or a burst of euphoric emotions that would confirm either way what the best course of action would be for me. However, the warm, fuzzy feelings were just not there. Neither did anything happen during my visit that pointed me in the direction that I should go. Seeing that this is quite a big decision to make and given my tendency to make poor decisions in the past and the state of anxiety this has instilled in me, I would have thought that God would have made it His business to let me know in some completely obvious way, what I should do.

In the past, there have been some decisions that I have made which have been accompanied by warm, zesty feelings that seemed to make the decision a complete no-brainer. But then again, there have been times when those warm, “gushy” feelings have not been present: all that has been present is a subtle prompting that has pushed me in that direction. When I come to think of it now, I suppose that the intense feelings of joy have little to do with my making the decisions that I have made: those positive feelings have been a by-product of the subtle promptings, which have led me to make the decisions that were right for me at that time.

Some of these decisions I have made by following subtle promptings have been good, some of them bad. But I notice that even the so-called “bad” decisions that I have made, have sometimes led me towards a more positive experience. So it seems that even so-called “bad” experiences are all part of this experience that we call life. The Bible says “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28). It seems that what interferes with the flow of life and the ability to live life to the full, is all the control, fear, guilt and other pressure we put upon ourselves.

I am at the stage now were I am more inclined to just go along with a decision, even if I don’t know all of the facts. Even if I have made wrong decisions in the past – so what? Making wrong decisions can lead a Christian to believe that he lacks faith, and therefore, should pray more or read more Christian books, including the Bible, of course. But this just leads to excesses and a reluctance to step-out and do what is in your heart, for fear of failure or punishment from God. I think we just need to lighten-up and do what we think is right. It is just the fear and guilt that surrounds our decision making that brings the apathy, fear, confusion and ultimately – wrong decisions. Without that fear we would have the clarity of mind and confidence to live our lives; making both good and not-so-good decisions. But we need to be assured that whatever we do will ultimately bring us to where God wants us to be.

It is tempting to believe that the reason we made wrong choices was because we were disobedient to God because we did not “follow the Word”. But this fear just leads to an obsession with finding verses of scripture to back-up every little decision that you make. I believe that the Bible is important, but only as a means of leading us to Jesus. We are to live our lives from there, rather than trying to replicate the life of one or more of the heroes in the Bible, such as King David. We can learn something from these people and their experiences, but we must really live our own lives. The Book of <insert your name here> is yet to be written!

I am led to wonder if the insistence on the intense warm feelings that we associate with love, is something of a misnomer – something that could be classed as being rather immature. Perhaps God wants us to look beyond such feelings and learn to trust the subtle promptings that He gives us?