“Little Nudges” and “Shoulds”

I feel as if I am trying to rediscover what it really means to live from the heart – I believe that this is synonymous with being led by the Holy Spirit. After all, that is where the Holy Spirit dwells: in the heart, or the spirit of man.

In my office recently I have noticed something: I would get a thought in my mind such as, “I would like a bag of crisps” (Americans call them “Potato Chips” or just “Chips”). I would not always voice such intentions in my mind; sometimes I would just have the conscious desire without forming the words in my mind. I noticed that just thinking this thought, together with a mild desire to consume a bag of crisps, was not always enough to get me reaching for the bag of crisps. What I found was that it was only minutes later, perhaps half an hour or so later, that I would find myself instinctively reaching for the bag of crisps. It was most certainly prompted from my subconscious mind, often with hardly a conscious thought or feeling associated with it. In fact, I became aware of the fact that it was almost as if I was watching someone else reaching for the bag of crisps – have you ever experienced anything like that in your own life? Perhaps you have but you have just not paid attention to it.

This simple scenario is an example of the subtle promptings of the heart; this also reminds me that merely holding onto a sentiment, or a “should”, is not always enough for me to actually commit to an associated action. In fact, there have been many times in my life when I have put a “should” on myself, sometimes in response to someone else putting a “should” on me. Most people do not give these things much consideration and it is only when you begin to make an effort to notice these things that you become more consciously aware of them. This is a powerful reminder that principles simply do not work – you cannot expect to hold onto a mere sentiment as a means of changing your life. In order to experience inner-transformation, you need to know who you are in Christ, what He has already done for you and the fact that you now have the divine nature in you right now (even if you don’t “feel” like it’s true.)

I recently listened to The God Journey podcast entitled The Knowable God, dated 18^th June 2010. It was great to hear Wayne Jacobsen relate how we can be given principles, like being a better father or better husband. It is even possible to make an effort for a short while to live according to such principles. But without those little nudges from the heart – it is impossible to maintain that new lifestyle. That is why we are so utterly dependant on God when it comes to inner transformation. After all, things like being a better father are dependant on the divine nature, not something that I can do with a conscious effort of the will. The divine nature comes from knowing who I am in Christ and living loved. If I have to really force myself to be a better “whatever” – that is not love. Jesus Himself said in Matthew 11:30, “For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

It can be rather humbling, and even unsettling at first, to come to the realisation that we are not one hundred percent in control of our lives. But we need not despair at this realisation, but take comfort in the fact that God is in charge of our lives and He does not expect us to live according to a set of principles. We haven’t got what it takes to live the life God wants us to live, apart from fellowship with Him. We need to know that our righteousness is apart from our works – it is by faith and faith alone. Principles are just another way of describing the keeping of rules, just like the Ten Commandments.