The Institutional Church and the “Nanny Culture”

It would seem that insecurity, anxiety, apathy and confusion all go hand-in-hand. If a person is insecure and anxious, they will also tend to be confused; they will find it difficult to make decisions and they will lack spontaneity; they will also find it hard to commit to anything for a prolonged period of time – tending to give up with something part way through. Insecure people tend to shy away from taking responsibility wherever possible and are afraid of making a mistake and looking foolish.

Conversely, all of the opposites of these character traits also go hand-in-hand as well. Secure minded people tend to not worry about things; they are spontaneous and can quickly make good decisions without pondering the options for very long. Secure minded people are more likely to commit to something and stay with it throughout its duration. Secure people are more likely to take on responsibility and are not scared of making a mistake.

What I have noticed happening in the church is that both clear-minded, secure individuals are put under the same roof as confused, insecure people. The result is that a “nanny culture” has developed in that the leaders have saw fit to protect the weaker, insecure members of the church by establishing principles for them to follow. It does not seem enough to be told that Christ loves them and that they should rest in the finished work of Christ. No, it would seem that Christian leaders feel the need to identify what is right and what is wrong, what believers should and should not do, if they are to succeed in life and if they are to please God. But what they often fail to emphasise is the fact that believers are already right with God in Christ by faith, apart from their works.

Christians are therefore treated almost like children as they are told, “Don’t go there! Don’t touch that! That’s bad for you!” I honestly find it rather patronising. The insecure people seem to take to this approach, motivated by the want for approval, as they desperately try to adopt the principles into their own life. Insecure people naturally gravitate to a follow-the-leader mentality as they seek the advice of someone who they think has all the answers. But therein lies the problem: people were never created to seek answers from other people all the time and to make decisions based on what someone else thinks is right for them. Of course, we should listen to advice from others at times and we should learn from other people’s wisdom. But there is a balance to be maintained: learning from other people’s wisdom is not a replacement to making decisions for yourself and being led by the Holy Spirit for yourself.

Secure minded people are used to making quick decisions on-the-go – without having to continually seek the advice and approval of a wiser person or a spiritual guru. I think this leaves the more secure minded members of the church wondering what to do with all of these principles they hear being preached every Sunday. You can be given a principle to follow, but then find yourself doing something else. Perhaps that principle was not relevant to your situation? Or perhaps you simply needed to make that decision which will make you less likely to do it again in the future? So I think there is a need to simply make your own choices in life, even if you do make mistakes. We cannot go around trying to make a comprehensive set of principles, with the intention of safe-guarding the more gullible, naïve Christians. Even if you intend to follow a certain principle, there is no guarantee that you will act upon it. If those subtle promptings are simply not there – you will end-up just getting confused and frustrated, as you attempt to try to force yourself to abide by that principle.

The only thing that really seems to under gird principles with power – is some kind of threat. Fear of punishment is typically the most common threat amongst Christians. There is also the desire to gain the approval of God and other people. There is also a sense of guilt and shame if a person does not follow some sort of principle that has been laid down by a spiritual leader.

Christians are told that they are like sheep, basically, the implication here is that Christians are as dumb as sheep. They are also told that they need a shepherd; Jesus is our Shepherd. We are like sheep to God – I have no problem with that. However, a pastor is given the position of shepherd and basically assumes responsibility for telling Christians what they should and should not do. I do believe in the role of pastor, as someone who assumes a basic level of leadership in order to facilitate any kind of Christian gathering. But pastors, ever since the formation of dedicated church buildings, have become our spiritual coaches! Whatever happened to being led by the Holy Spirit?

¹ "Most assuredly, I say to you, he who does not enter the sheepfold by the door, but climbs up some other way, the same is a thief and a robber. ² "But he who enters by the door is the shepherd of the sheep. ³ "To him the doorkeeper opens, and the sheep hear his voice; and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. ⁴ "And when he brings out his own sheep, he goes before them; and the sheep follow him, for they know his voice. ⁵ "Yet they will by no means follow a stranger, but will flee from him, for they do not know the voice of strangers."

John 10:1-5

²¹ Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, "This is the way, walk in it," Whenever you turn to the right hand Or whenever you turn to the left.

Isaiah 30:21

¹⁴ For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God.

Romans 8:14

¹⁸ But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.

Galatians 5:18